dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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