I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
