I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
