Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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