I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
