Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
