he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
