We're like a lot better than the average bears
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
