did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
