its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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