i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
