So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
