After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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