what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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