My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
