she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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