i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we're making bets on your personal life
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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