i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
