Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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