ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You took a bar mat shot.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
