Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I look better un-naked...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
