It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
