He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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