I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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