guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
