hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
