I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
