I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
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Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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