so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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