no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
