Cold hands, warm shart.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
