My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As shirtless as possible
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
