Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
