TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
