"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
