you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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