Whod you bang
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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