so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
