you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
