if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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