we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
