Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
