Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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