so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
