omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
