I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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