he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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