I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
