what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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