Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
