Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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