My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
