Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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