I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
