whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
