Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
