i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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