OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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