Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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