Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
