I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
