do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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