It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
